The Man

The man without options
can do anything
Nothing is forbidden

The man with nowhere to go
can go anywhere
The world is a vast neighbourhood

The man facing death
is free to live
A life without fear
is a life without limit

The man who has been
the worst that he can be
need not fear the future.
If he is better now than he was
he needn't regret the past

The man who has never been loved
need not be ashamed
if his heart is full

If his heart is cold
it is because
he has never loved

The man who holds hate in his heart
is hateful
He will search for hate
and be drawn to hate
And the world will give him what he seeks

Such a Worthy Dream

A book a day or so it seems,

as pages turn,

they can't be seen

This girl a blur,

her brain a whir,

she wears her knitting

just like fur

Just like the fur

that covers her,

a cat is on

her lap or there

Beside her on the blanket brown,

no other person,

can sit down

The man is in his gaming chair,

his eyes below

his greying hair

Are fixed upon

the game he plays,

perhaps he has,

been there for days

The other cat

is somewhere near

She won't be seen

Then she appears

An arrow from

the bow she flies

Gone chasing shadows?

Hunting flies?

Parents just across the way,

one of them

there all day

Keeping watch,

making sure,

keeping eyes,

on the door

Family in close supply,

close enough

but not too close

Hidden when

the door is closed,

coming when

they're needed most

Wish I could wake up to that

What a wish to live for that

Willingness to work for that

Such a worthy dream to have

I Recall

I still recall how close we were, too close to ever be apart

But now we live in different worlds, with different lives, two separate hearts

Each time we meet, we try our best, but even so, I must confess

It seems a mess, it must be stressed, we carry on, without success

Who said that this was for the best?

Who chose this path, who had that choice?

Who dwelt on dreams? Who gave them voice?

Who cried the most? Whose cheeks are moist?

Who suffered most? Lets measure that

Who gave the most? Who wants it back?

And who to blame? Who caused this pain?

If no one wins, what point the game?

I still can see, like photographs, these memories, that made us laugh

In silent thoughts, I can recall, a room of joy, no tears at all

Now all is still, the room is dark, the lights are gone and voices fade

I wonder now, how it would be, what I would see, if I had stayed

I will not say goodbye to you

I will not weep because you sleep

I will not shed a tear for you

I cannot speak, I am too weak

I will not tell a lie to you

I will not say it's all okay

I won't lie down and die for you

I still have much that I must do

I still recall, like poisoned thoughts, how close we were, before we weren't

I still can place, not just your face , but even how your shoes were laced

I still can feel, what once was real, unpeeled, a heart encased in steel

I am the steel, if not the blood, I crave your touch, I miss it much

Copyright © John B. O'Halloran 2010

Too Many Rules

Too many rules and not enough schools
Or too many schools and not enough rules
Or too many fools who think they are cool
For breaking the rules, destroying the schools
Or too many rules for too many fools
Or not enough fools for not enough rules
And not enough fools to fill up the schools
And not enough schools to make up the rules

And too many kings for not enough thrones
Or too many dim and slow witted clones
Or not enough homes for people who need
And not enough pairs, too many alone
Too many who care, too many to love
Too many who love are no longer there
So many not there, as distance creates
Unbridgable gaps, suspicion and hate

Or too many words and too many books
Or not enough words, just feelings and looks
As silence is bled, as nothing is shed
With not enough said, just thoughts in the head
And not enough shared, in secret despair
Too many who care, too many alone
So many alone and not enough pairs
And not enough said, sweet secrets instead

Lay blame at the schools with not enough rules
Lay blame at the fools who think they are cool
Perhaps at the feet of all whom you meet
Perhaps with yourself and everyone else
But understand sacrifice, simple and pure
It isn't a burden, it isn't a cure
But it is distraction, a moment, no more
A moment that maybe is worth living for

Finally

Her Mother never loved her
so she took her love from boys

But the boys never loved her
Treated all the girls like toys

And her Step Dad said he loved her
He was just like all the boys

Now in dreams of him
she screams within
and that is how he wins

She told it to her Mother
but her Mother didn't care

So she told it to her Father
but her Father wasn't there

So she told it to another
but she wasn't quite aware

Of his pain filled eyes on her behalf
or of his love filled stare

He had been her friend since they were young
and loved her just as long

As a child he'd often longed for her
and put her name in songs

And he'd watched her waste her time with men
who didn't treat her right

In the darkness he had cried himself
so many sleepless nights

When she told him what her Step Dad did
and what her Mother said

When she told him she had no one for
her Father he was dead

When she looked at him
As he looked back
Then something in him snapped

And he swore revenge
and that was when
she realised the fact

She had never really looked at him
Content that he was there

He was constant like the furniture
The table or the chair

She had leaned on him to ease her need
but never really seen

He was everything she needed

That was when he turned to leave

And she knew that he would kill for her
She knew that he would die

And she knew that either way
they would be forced to say goodbye

So she followed him
To say to him
She wanted only him

And as they made love
She fell in love
Completely
from within

As they held each other in the dark
She finally was free

With his arms protecting her from harm
She finally could see

What it meant to really be alive
She finally could be

And the thing she had been searching for
She felt it finally

Journey

Doors open, same faces, same old thing

Sitting here, same spot, head down, no eye contact

Same old journey, stop to stop, minute to minute, check point to check point

Lost in my own thoughts, mind drifting, scant attention

Trying to block the sounds, some vulgar, all invasive

Lambs pretending to be lions, showing off to their peers

Uniform becomes a costume, same old story, second hand

Once the story was mine, long past, been and gone

He who was, no longer here, died and burnt, turned to ash

Ash to flame, flame to birth, birth to growth, here I am

Sitting here, same spot, head down, no eye contact

Thoughts combine behind the eyes, words come, questions form

What am I still doing here...and when will this journey end?

Lost (Without a Trace)

Dedicated to victims of bullying

Feeling lost amongst the popular, a pin within a stack of hay

When waking up feels way too hard and harder still with each new day

No friends at all who understand, no one to lean on for support

Nothing to do and here I am, a rabbit, in the lights I'm caught

Don't tell me that you understand

Not even if you've felt the same

You don't know how it feels for me

It's brand new rules, a brand new game

It's such a shame

Nobody sees

They're hurting as they hinder me

But they will know, I'll make them see

They never should have messed with me

I'm lost amongst the popular, one blade of grass, a field of green

The superficial, all the same, they do not even know my name

They think they do, they make them up, they taunt me as they steal my lunch

They never stop, they never will, they do not even have a hunch

Don't tell me that you understand

Not even if you've felt the same

You don't know how it feels for me

It's brand new rules, a brand new game

It's such a shame

Nobody sees

They're hurting as they hinder me

But they will know, I'll make them see

They never should have messed with me

They never should have picked on me

Revenge is sweet and all my teeth, yes they are sweet

Not just the one but all by gums, perhaps my tongue

Enjoys the taste, no thought for haste, it's such a waste

I'll take my time to prove them fools,

These faceless tools that rule in school

I swear I will forget them all

Don't tell me that you understand

Not even if you felt the same

You don't know how it felt for me

With brand new rules, a brand new game

It's such a shame

They could not see

They hurt me as they hindered me

But they will hinder me no more

I'm stronger now than once before

And when in years to come I find myself reflecting on these years

I'll shed no tears, recall no names, or evil games or faces all the same

With cruel expressions, no, not one more second of my life will go

A waste of time, a waste of space, now gone, without a trace

Copyright 2010 J.B.O'Halloran

She

She dreamed of twisted butterflies and seeing still with hollow eyes and colour blind though she was still she wasn’t blind to see the kill at least until she felt the thrill and felt the chill of broken will upon her broken window sill her molten pill it made her ill

She dreamed of death and cheating life so much she took her blade her knife and took her mouth she opened wide and made her smile last all her life she smiled for pain and smiled for screams she smiled for terror haunting dreams she smiled because she couldn’t speak she smiled as blood fell down her cheek

She was the one she always knew the dirty things that she could do and long she dreamed she'd do to you the very things she'd seen you do and now has come her time to shine to play Picasso with your mind you only have yourself to blame and long will you recall her name

Dark the Days

Look at where the wind is blowing

Look how dark the days are growing

Every day seems to be slowing

Look how fast the years are going

What is wrong with still not knowing

Every tear I cry is showing

Cannot dry when it is snowing

Ashes fall and dust is flowing

Like how when I fall below in

Closed within what I am owing

Not enough to start me throwing

All my toys like bricks with dough in

Come to life like pots to grow in

Plants to water, soon be showing

Reaping, duh duh dum dum, sowing

Shut the door before you go in

Nothing wrong with still not knowing

On that note I should be going

With the wind that still is blowing

Look how dark the day is growing

The Time will Come

In the midst
of all
the mixed
emotions
come
like sudden rain
Sodden
are the ones
who search the sky
for someone
there to blame
Dry will be the ones
beneath umbrellas,
packed,
precautious,
smart
Some will offer
space to others,
those we call
the warm of heart

In the midst
of madness,
rain torrential,
undiluted
pain
Hurting
are the ones
who scream
at fellow sufferers,
insane
Saved will be
the ones
who step
into the wet
to offer help
Those who die
to save another,
those who act
in spite of self

In the midst
of kindness,
cruelty,
selfish,
selfless,
human,
beasts
Bared will be
the human heart,
the human soul
will be released
Gone will be
the time to think,
to contemplate,
what we would do
Time will come
to look upon,
the truth of self,
for me,
for you

Dance with me

The sky is weeping, watch it pour

Rain of tears worth waiting for

Take my hand and come with me

Dance with me in misery

Dance with me in spite of sorrow

Dance like there is no tomorrow

If tomorrow never comes

Who will dance beneath the sun?

When our bodies break and drift

Like the moisture in the mist

When are gone the ones we kissed

Who is then to speak of this

When our names are gone from thought

Like the waste of cash we bought

All the lessons we were taught

All the things for which we fought

Will it be we never were?

When all this is all over

Did we ever truly live

Did we take and did we give

Did we love and did we feel

Was it ever really real

When we cannot be recalled

Were we really here at all

Take my hand and dance with me

Close your eyes and try to see

Let us freeze reality

Burn it on the memory

So when we have danced our last

We will leave a tale to share

For our children and for theirs

Voices echo from the past