'I stood outside when all was grey, couldn't see a thing
One by one the drops of rain soaked me to my skin,
Took away my pain, gave me back my grin'
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
Song
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
A Question of Faith: Faith No More
Sunday, 2 January 2011
Nothing More Than You
More than you
More than you
When I first saw you
Then first I knew
At first I knew
Then feelings grew
At last I knew
As people do
That there was nothing
Nothing that I wanted
More than you
More than you
When I first saw you
When you saw me
You looked at me
You looked right through
I thought you saw
You did not see
But I was sure
You needed me
But nothing that I did or what I said
Seemed to make you see
That there was nothing
Nothing that I wanted
More than you
More than you
When I smiled at you
You turned away
I waved at you
You turned away
I spoke to you
You turned away
I called for you
You turned away
Gave gifts to you
You turned away
Wrote songs for you
You turned away
I killed for you
You turned away
What must I do to make you stay?
What must I do to show you
There is nothing that I long for
More than you
More than you
I would live for you
Or die for you
Give up my aching soul for you
If just to have you here to stay
To stay with me for just one day
I'd give up all of everything
Take punishment for every sin
For there is nothing that I want
Nothing more than you
Books
When I resent my name, can't cope with blame
And need someone to help me through the shame
Someone who feels the same
A faceless friend who will not judge
To clean the mud, who holds no grudge
I need a place to hide away
A shield to keep the world at bay
These pages are my portal
And
This story is my saving grace
This made up unreality
Is made for me
A private place
This person that I read about
Is less than me
And more than me
But more than that
Is nothing like me
I am made irrelevant
Along with all that bothers me
I swear these books were heaven sent
Friday, 8 October 2010
Journey
Doors open, same faces, same old thing
Sitting here, same spot, head down, no eye contact
Same old journey, stop to stop, minute to minute, check point to check point
Lost in my own thoughts, mind drifting, scant attention
Trying to block the sounds, some vulgar, all invasive
Lambs pretending to be lions, showing off to their peers
Uniform becomes a costume, same old story, second hand
Once the story was mine, long past, been and gone
He who was, no longer here, died and burnt, turned to ash
Ash to flame, flame to birth, birth to growth, here I am
Sitting here, same spot, head down, no eye contact
Thoughts combine behind the eyes, words come, questions form
What am I still doing here...and when will this journey end?
Wednesday, 29 September 2010
Lost (Without a Trace)
Dedicated to victims of bullying
Feeling lost amongst the popular, a pin within a stack of hay
When waking up feels way too hard and harder still with each new day
No friends at all who understand, no one to lean on for support
Nothing to do and here I am, a rabbit, in the lights I'm caught
Don't tell me that you understand
Not even if you've felt the same
You don't know how it feels for me
It's brand new rules, a brand new game
It's such a shame
Nobody sees
They're hurting as they hinder me
But they will know, I'll make them see
They never should have messed with me
I'm lost amongst the popular, one blade of grass, a field of green
The superficial, all the same, they do not even know my name
They think they do, they make them up, they taunt me as they steal my lunch
They never stop, they never will, they do not even have a hunch
Don't tell me that you understand
Not even if you've felt the same
You don't know how it feels for me
It's brand new rules, a brand new game
It's such a shame
Nobody sees
They're hurting as they hinder me
But they will know, I'll make them see
They never should have messed with me
They never should have picked on me
Revenge is sweet and all my teeth, yes they are sweet
Not just the one but all by gums, perhaps my tongue
Enjoys the taste, no thought for haste, it's such a waste
I'll take my time to prove them fools,
These faceless tools that rule in school
I swear I will forget them all
Don't tell me that you understand
Not even if you felt the same
You don't know how it felt for me
With brand new rules, a brand new game
It's such a shame
They could not see
They hurt me as they hindered me
But they will hinder me no more
I'm stronger now than once before
And when in years to come I find myself reflecting on these years
I'll shed no tears, recall no names, or evil games or faces all the same
With cruel expressions, no, not one more second of my life will go
A waste of time, a waste of space, now gone, without a trace
Copyright 2010 J.B.O'Halloran
Monday, 27 September 2010
She
She dreamed of twisted butterflies and seeing still with hollow eyes and colour blind though she was still she wasn’t blind to see the kill at least until she felt the thrill and felt the chill of broken will upon her broken window sill her molten pill it made her ill
She dreamed of death and cheating life so much she took her blade her knife and took her mouth she opened wide and made her smile last all her life she smiled for pain and smiled for screams she smiled for terror haunting dreams she smiled because she couldn’t speak she smiled as blood fell down her cheek
She was the one she always knew the dirty things that she could do and long she dreamed she'd do to you the very things she'd seen you do and now has come her time to shine to play Picasso with your mind you only have yourself to blame and long will you recall her name